in case you haven't noticed

I've been tending to blog here instead.

whoa

I have gone many days withought sleep. It looks like it won't be ending any time soon. I don't know how or why this is happening but it makes me very sad.

It's at the point where I will forget where I am or what I am doing. This is embarassing when I am at work and dangerous when I'm on Lake Street at 12:30 am and suddenly realize I'm out front of the CAA office and don't know where I am, why I am alone or why I am outside the CAA office.

Turns out, I needed catfood and was on my way to 7-Eleven. It took a few minutes, but once I figured it out I was fine.

I saw 'Knocked Up' tonight. Please remind me to never get married, have a baby, or be in a relationship with anyone ever. Holy shit. I know everyone ended up happy and okay, but out of the entire movie, people were happy about 2% of the time. The rest of the time everyone was pissed off and mad and mean.

Paul Rudd was in it though. I would like to kiss him. There are worse guys to kiss.

I went to price club yesterday and bought a 4 gig memory card for SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS. WHAT THE FUCK. I bought a 1 gig card about a year ago for twice that money. HOLY HELL.

My mom brought me cocoa pebbles from the states last week and i was really upset to find out that even though it SAID cocoa pebbles, there were cocoa KRISPIES on the inside. When the shit did that happen!? Are corn pops and rice crispies the same friggen thing now all of a sudden too? Jackasses.

I'm going to lay down and count how many times my stomach hurts in the next eight hours. If you want to come over and punch me in the head or install a new stomach while I wait, that wowuld be pretty awesome too/

night

I held off the best I could

Some people recently did acrostic playlists of people's names or diseases. And though I laughed and called people names, I admit that I instantly (immediately) tried to think of what I could do for a special little man in my life.

For risk of being made fun of for having a more lame playlist than those who came before me, I tried to avoid this. But today I am bored and I don't care if you make fun of my T through I.

Every song has at least some sort of significance between the two of us.



J esus he knows me - Genesis
O h Darling - Supertramp
S afe and Sound - Hawksley Workman
E ither Way - Wilco
P ushover - The Long Winters
H ow Can I love you? (If you won't lie down) - Silver Jews *

G et Your Hands off My Woman - Ben Folds
O ne Great City! - The Weakerthans **
T il' I am Myself Again - Blue Rodeo
T il' There Was You - The Beatles
L ove of My Life - Queen
I n View - The Tragically Hip





*This song has no significance. I just needed an 'H' and that seemed appropriate in an inappropriate way.
** I know you hate this song, but there is no other song that mentions the jets. And you can't blame the guy for thinking they were lousy.

u.s. for self esteem

sometimes I wake up to find that I gained 7 lbs. of bloat weight from the morning before and I feel like a fat cow pregnant with six full-sized cows inside of it.

Then I come to work and the first thing I see is someone who is so fat that he requires the help of three full-grown men to get him in a standing position and up two steps in about five minutes of effort.

Maybe I am pretty enough to marry after all.

it was remedied immediately

You know your life is either incredibly boring or incredibly awesome when at work, halfway through the afternoon you think (and exclaim out loud) with genuine surprise:

"Holy SHIT, I haven't looked at any pictures of cats today!"

POWER RUINS ART

So I was in the middle of making a very elaborate comic about sleep deprivation and then the FUCKING POWER WENT OUT. THANKS A LOT ASSHOLES.

At least I don't have to work, cause if I was supposed to get up at 7 am I woulda been bunnnnged.

ANYWAY. Here are my three favourite pictures from the comic I was going to make. You can tell that it was going to be epic.

in soviet subconscious, harry potter fantasize about YOU!

So, I had quite the complimentary dream last night.

I have never read nor seen any of the Harry Potter movies or books, the only interest I took in the whole thing (and it doesn't even count) were all the naked pictures of the Harry Potter guy on a horse. Kid's got a pretty sweet bod for being a kid. And that's more up my alley than any kind of wizardry shit.

Anyway, for whatever reason last night I had a sex dream involving Harry Potter and Elijah Wood. Which is pretty awesome, except I wasn't the one having the sex.

I guess Elijah Wood gives pretty bad head as I emerged in the dream only because Harry Potter was trying to think of someone else in order to get/stay into it. AND THAT PERSON WAS ME.

So internet, delete your fanfics, because I AM THE ULTIMATE HARRY POTTER FANTASY. And it's funny because even in my dream I thought "I am this kids ultimate fantasy? AWESOME!"

sexypants

I've been working so much OT that I make less than if I were to work 10 less hours a week. If I worked 20 less hours every pay period I would be taking home more money. MATH AND GOVERNMENT SUCK.

However 95% of my payable hours involve looking at pictures of cats, or saying the word "immediately". I shouldn't really gripe too hard.

Tomorrow I have a day off and am going to see Sam Roberts. And by "see" I mean "try to RAPE him". Rape in caps because I am SERIOUS.

I MEAN IT.

I went and saw Mom last night. Mom is one of those Mom's that you have to be very careful around when you express your interest in things. You can casually mention one thing or have a shirt with a certain design on it and she will scout out and purchase every single possible items displaying that pattern. You know all those bunnies in my car? All the shirts/shoes/socks/everything with skulls on it?

Now she's moved onto argyle. I make one joke about Joe wearing argyle and that because we spend so much time together if I ever wore the pattern it would be hilarious... all of a sudden I am BOMBARDED with argyle socks and shirts and scarves... She even gave me argyle underwears as a present yesterday.

I laughed and was like "what the hell is this?"









and then I went home and washed them and am totally wearing them today. I confess.

JTG III:

"Party Hard" just came on the playlist you made me and immediately all volumes went up immediately.

I was in the middle of yelling "WE DO WHAT WE LIKE AND WE LIKE WHAT WE DO" and a Korean family stopped in the doorway and stared at me (immediately).

I think the "NO LOLING IN THE PHOTOLAB" sign will be changed to "NO PARTYING HARD IN THE PHOTOLAB" (immediately).

101 POSTATIONS

Apparently this is my one hundred and one-th post. Wow, have I been around (har!).

Anyway, I came home from work to find my buddy Joe (who has been bearded and bespectacled for the past few months) completely clean-shaven and wearing his contacts. I always get very confused when he does these sudden changes because he does look drastically different. All of a sudden there is some new guy constantly trying to cop a feel. What is this business? I'm so confused. That's what I think.

When I got home I went straight in the shower because I had a layer of slime on me from working in 40 degree weather. While showering he sat in my bedroom creating a new "surprise!" playlist for me on my iPod (which he called "pee pee poo poo music").

I came out of the shower and into my bedroom to find this incredibly handsome clean-shaven young looking boy loading music onto my iPod.

It was like a dirty hipster movie come true! We ate tofu and talked about velvet underground and then made out while listening to joy division. After that we rode our bikes to a coffee shop and listened to some shitty house band while we drank free trade coffee. Sexy! Number one on the internet.

Okay, that's not sexy at all. But the whole concept of "I get out of the shower to find some handsome young looking boy in my bedroom" seems incredibly familiar to those who dabble in the field of smut.

Mind you, the sexiness disappeared when he revealed that he was actually loading the entire Genesis discography onto my computer.

Then it shriveled up into itself even further when this conversation occurred:

"I like to kiss you. It's one of my favourite things to do... I'd say it's in my top ten."
"What else is in your top ten?"
"Having sex... also, pooping...."
"Let's just stop that conversation right there."

I probably should have asked what order pooping and getting to kiss me ranks in, but I have a feeling my self esteem couldn't handle it.

Anyway, it's about 80 million degrees in here, so I'm gonna turn off this desklamp.